Total pages in book: 59
Estimated words: 57201 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 286(@200wpm)___ 229(@250wpm)___ 191(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 57201 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 286(@200wpm)___ 229(@250wpm)___ 191(@300wpm)
Now, I just have to figure out how to get her to trust me.
And fall in love with me again.
CHAPTER 32
Katie
Something is off. I can feel it, but I’m having trouble pulling myself awake. I’m so comfortable and warm and all I want to do is ignore whatever it is. I lift my hand up to rub my face, and that feels unnatural—almost too heavy. The lure of sleep is so strong that I almost succumb again.
“Mommy?”
“Yeah,” I respond, my voice hoarse with sleep so it comes out more like a whisper.
“Why is Jake sleeping with you?”
My body goes solid, my eyes opening immediately. Jake is in bed beside me, his arm wrapped over me, my head on his chest. I look beside me and there’s Lennon staring at me. My throat goes dry. This wasn’t something I foresaw last night—mostly because I was stupid. I just really wanted Jake to hold me through the night. It was selfish and weak, but it’s true just the same.
“I… uh…”
Jake lets out a snore as his hand moves up to rest against my breast. Instantly my nipple hardens against his palm. I close my eyes in shame because my son is standing beside my bed. God, I’m a mess.
I elbow Jake and try to sit up in the bed.
“Ow,” he mutters, his voice gruff and lethargic, proving he’s still fighting with sleep himself. “It’s okay, sunshine. Go back to sleep. I got you,” he murmurs, and I frown. I had a few nightmares last night. Each time he’d whisper that into my ear, I’d feel safe enough to go back out. The nightmares have been kind of common since the accident. I don’t think I realized how much they had kept me awake until last night.
“Jake, wake up,” I hiss, trying to smile at my son and reassure him.
“What’s wrong?” he says when I slap at his stomach.
He rubs his eyes, his hair ruffled and messy. He’s stunning and beautiful.
He’s lethal.
“Did you have bad dreams, Jake?” Lennon asks and that’s when Jake goes solid as the reality of the situation finally hits him.
“Hey, little man. What are you doing awake?” he asks.
I expected him to take the arm away that he has wrapped around me. He doesn’t. I guess I should be thankful he doesn’t try to squeeze my boob again.
“The sun’s out,” Lennon says and automatically my eyes go to the window. I kind of expected it to be dark with just a little of the sun peeking through. That’s not the case. It’s clearly been out for a while.
“It is,” Jake says, and he sounds as shocked as I am.
“Did you have bad dreams? Sometimes when I have bad dreams, I come and get in bed with Mommy, too.”
“Lennon—”
“Mommy had a bad dream, so I thought it was a good idea if I was here to remind her she’s not alone. I wanted her to know that I’m here now and that you’re in the room next door and together we’ll always be here to protect her,” Jake says, and my heart squeezes in my chest. I’m sinking fast when it comes to Jake Ryan, and I can’t seem to stop it. It appears the past didn’t make me one bit smarter.
“Does that mean you’re going to live here now, Jake? Like you know, part of the family?”
“Lennon—”
“I have to go back to work once your mom gets better, but yeah, Lennon, buddy, I plan on staying around and living here with you guys all the time.”
“And we’ll still be best friends?” Lennon asks, making my heart ache for him. He really does love Jake.
“The best of friends. I’ll be depending on you to take care of your momma while I’m away from work. I won’t be gone a lot, though. I’m going to make sure that whenever possible I’m only agreeing to ride in shows where I can be home at night with you guys.”
“That’s awesome,” Lennon says.
“I think we should talk about this later. How about we all go—”
“Does this mean you’ll be like my dad?”
Lennon’s innocent question interrupts me and breaks my heart. My hand trembles as I bring it to my mouth. Oh, God…
“Buddy, there’s something you need to know—”
“You need to know that I’m hungry. Why don’t you do me a favor and go and check on Grandma? Jake will help me get up and we’ll all have pancakes,” I interject.
I’m not ready for the conversation that Jake wants to have with Lennon. We do need to tell him, but I don’t want to just spring it on my son. Whenever we tell him the truth, we need to do it delicately and be prepared.
“Are you and me going to make the pancakes, Jake?”
“You know it, buddy,” Jake says, and I can hear the frustration in his voice. He’s mad and I hate it. I’ve handled all of this wrong. I just need more time. Things seem to be changing all around me and I can’t even go to the damn bathroom by myself.