Total pages in book: 98
Estimated words: 96833 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 484(@200wpm)___ 387(@250wpm)___ 323(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 96833 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 484(@200wpm)___ 387(@250wpm)___ 323(@300wpm)
“I could say no to the whole thing, but…Phil and Kate lost their entire world when Britney died. They’ve been nothing but good to me. I won’t stop this, even if it tears me up inside.”
Leo nodded. “So you’ve already made your decision, then. You’re going to say yes.”
“Well, I suppose ‘yes’ is only one decision. There are other things that need to be worked out.”
“Like whether you’ll father it?” he asked.
“No, that’s a given. I can’t stomach it any other way.”
“Wow.” Leo nodded. “Alright.”
Felicity rubbed her pregnant belly. “So I suppose the final decision would have to do with choosing a surrogate.”
“Well…they think they’ve already found someone.”
Felicity tilted her head. “Why do you say it like that? You don’t trust their judgment?”
I flicked some crumbs away. “I don’t trust anyone who’d agree to something so fast. Apparently, they had one conversation with a friend’s twenty-five-year-old daughter, and the next thing you know, she’s offering up her womb.”
Leo poured some Prosecco. “Who is this person?”
“I don’t know much except that her father and Phil are old mates. This girl must be crazy to offer to do this.”
“I don’t think it’s a crazy thing to offer,” Felicity said. “I mean, there are kindhearted people out there. Britney’s story is tragic. I could see myself getting wrapped up in the emotions of it all and offering to help, if my life situation were different.”
“Well, you’re insane, too, then, Ginger.”
“It’s been nearly ten years, Sig. Are you ever gonna stop calling me Ginger?”
I winked. “Never.”
Ginger was a nickname I’d given Felicity back when she’d first met Leo because of her red hair. I’d called her a lot of names in jest over the years, ballbuster that I was. My cousin and I had been on a three-month jaunt around the US a decade ago when he’d met Felicity on the last leg of our trip in Narragansett, Rhode Island. (I was completely unhinged that summer, by the way. It was before I’d met Britney, and let’s just say I had a lot of fun on that trip.)
Leo and Felicity had taken quite a long road to get to where they were now. Felicity was currently pregnant with their second child, a daughter they planned to name Britney. Needless to say, I’d pretty much lost it the day they told me that. Their other daughter, Eloise, was three and a little whippersnapper. She was at nursery school at the moment, otherwise she would’ve been circling my legs, trying to get me to play with her.
Leo sipped his Prosecco. “Okay, so what’s the next step, then?”
“I have no idea.” I sighed.
“I do,” Felicity said.
I turned to her. “Do tell, Ginger.”
“You need to invite the potential surrogate here. Meet this woman and make your decision based on actually getting to know her, rather than assumptions.”
“She’s hardly a woman. Who the hell knows what they want to do with their life when they’re twenty-five?”
“Wasn’t Britney twenty-six when you met her? You thought she was pretty mature, didn’t you?”
“That was different. She knew she could be dying. That matures you real fucking fast.”
Felicity nodded. “But let’s face it, Sig. You’re never gonna feel like anyone is good enough to carry this baby. If this is going to happen, you need to be a bit more open-minded.”
“What I’d like is for this entire situation to go away so I don’t have to deal with it at all.”
I’d had no desire to have kids until I met Britney. And after she died, I vowed I would never have children with anyone else, which was fine because I’d never planned to have kids anyway, never wanted them with anyone but her. But I hadn’t accounted for a situation where she and I would conceive a child without her being here. The one thing I knew? I wouldn’t be able to handle raising that child myself.
“I’ve already decided Phil and Kate should be the ones to take care of it. I’m not suited.”
“Okay.” Felicity nodded. “Good that you can admit that, if that’s how you feel. But you’ll always be its father. You won’t be able to change that.”
Father.
Me?
I couldn’t fathom it.
***
On the way back from Leo’s, instead of returning to my place in London, I decided to spend the night at my other residence, a bed and breakfast known as The Bainbridge on the other side of Westfordshire.
I’d met the innkeeper, Lavinia, several years ago when Felicity had stayed there during a trip to the UK to visit Leo. At the time, Leo had asked me to look after Felicity since she’d been a stranger in a new country; his obligations had meant he couldn’t be with her at all times. That had been shortly after Britney died, and I was a walking zombie in those days. With nothing better to do, I’d stayed at the bed and breakfast with Felicity, never expecting that I’d remain good friends with the old woman who owned it. Lavinia had become like a second mother to me, which was convenient since my actual mother wasn’t the easiest to get along with.