Total pages in book: 95
Estimated words: 91864 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 459(@200wpm)___ 367(@250wpm)___ 306(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 91864 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 459(@200wpm)___ 367(@250wpm)___ 306(@300wpm)
“What ended up happening with that girl?”
“He ended up going to homecoming with her. They went out a little bit, but nothing came of it. It’s sometimes hard explaining this to people who don’t have siblings, but at least with my brother, I felt like I knew some stuff about him without us having to really talk about them. And after seeing that girl, he got a friend Charlie who would come around. They were really friendly, friendlier than most…and I don’t think that he even really understood what he was experiencing at first, but they started to spend more time together…one thing led to another.”
“Your brother was gay?”
I nodded. “Yeah. And he came out and everything. In a lot of ways, he paved the way to make me feel comfortable with who I was. Because once he did and I saw Mom and Dad’s reaction with him, I knew they were comfortable with me choosing whatever I wanted. But I don’t know, it took me a bit before I really understood who I was. On one hand, I thought I might be gay because I had guys I was attracted to, but then I was attracted to girls, so I didn’t really get it for a while. Wasn’t until college when I started really experiencing it all that I realized I was fine with all of it.”
“Lucky me,” Ethan teased. He sat up and grabbed my leg, pulling it toward him, and I kicked the other forward the same way before he rolled us to the side until he was lying on top of me, gazing down at me, pure appreciation in his gaze.
“I bet your parents were really cool about it, too,” Ethan added.
“Oh, for sure. I sat them down to explain how I felt to them, and Dad said, ‘Bi’s great and all, but do your best to end up with a guy because girls are exhausting.’ He was side-eyeing Mom when he said it, and she nearly fell out of her chair, she was laughing so hard. Then she said, ‘Bi, straight…I don’t care who my kids end up being as long as they don’t end up boring.’ ”
“That sounds like the most typical Johnnie and Barbara responses ever, and clearly her kids didn’t end up boring.”
“Not everyone gets such a cool response to sharing something that personal with their mom and dad. I was pretty lucky with my parents.”
The moment I said that, I wished I’d been more cautious about my wording, especially considering Ethan’s situation. “Sorry. I didn’t—”
“Don’t make a thing out of that. You can’t live your life trying not to step on landmines all the time when it comes to my parents any more than I can do that with your brother. Sometimes we’re gonna have foot-in-mouth moments, but I think we both know the other doesn’t mean anything by it, and that’s all that matters.”
“I don’t want to hurt you. I want you to feel like you’re safe with me.”
Ethan stroked his thumb across my cheek, his gaze drifting like he was thinking about what I’d said. “There are some things Ninja can’t protect me from, but that’s not a bad thing. That’s life.”
He was right, but it didn’t change this feeling I had that I needed to protect him, shield him from harm—even from those phantoms in his mind, the ones that I was truly powerless against. But perhaps I could find a way to combat his pain, just as he had helped me combat my own.
“Well, since I told you about my brother,” I said, “I think it’s fair that you should have to tell me something.”
“What do you want to hear?”
“Your family. You keep telling me a little about them, but I feel like even the good stuff is just these elusive memories I can’t really get my thoughts around. I want to hear about a memory—some amazing time you had with them. What’s the best memory you have of being with your parents?”
Ethan glanced around my face like he was considering the idea, but then he crawled across the bed and snatched his cell off the nightstand.
I appreciated the lovely view of the curvature of his ass before he turned back around and returned to me, lying on his side next to me as he fidgeted with his phone.
He stopped, looking at his phone, his lips curling into a subtle smile before he handed me the phone.
A kid, about eight, stood in front of a man and a woman. They all wore orange life vests and were soaked from head to toe.
The man looked a lot like Ethan. Same dark hair. Even had that same cocky smile like he knew how amazing he was. But Ethan had his mother’s eyes, and it made me wonder what that must have been like for his granny, always looking at Ethan and seeing the daughter she lost and the man who she thought had stolen her child away from her at the same time.