Total pages in book: 121
Estimated words: 116759 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 584(@200wpm)___ 467(@250wpm)___ 389(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 116759 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 584(@200wpm)___ 467(@250wpm)___ 389(@300wpm)
Recognition lit his face. Then the psychopath raised his pint to me with a hard smirk curling the corners of his mouth.
I looked away from him, staring stonily ahead, suddenly lost in memories I’d rather cast out into Dumbledore’s pensieve than have festering inside me.
“Lily.” Sebastian curled his hand around my wrist, and I reluctantly looked at him.
He sucked in a breath at whatever he saw on my face. He peered past me to the bar. “Who is that bloke?”
I shook my head, tone brittle. “No one.”
His eyes flared but thankfully, the house lights went down as the comedians took the stage.
I couldn’t concentrate on their sketch. I was wholly aware of the man at the bar, and I didn’t want to look at him, but I needed to be alert in case he approached me. Needed my armor up.
Staring in stony silence, I heard my friends laugh all around me.
Except Sebastian.
I sensed his tension at my side.
However, I could do nothing to snap myself out of my panicked stupor.
I wanted to leave.
Yet I knew that would give the bastard satisfaction of knowing how much he still affected me.
Instead, I stayed put out of stubbornness, but I was so bloody thankful when the house lights went back up again.
“Let’s go grab another drink somewhere else.” Harry bumped Sierra playfully as we stood outside the comedy club.
She nodded. “Sure, I’m up for it.”
“We’re going to head back,” Maddie said, leaning into Shaun.
“Yeah, I’m actually done in.” Zac scrubbed a hand over his face. “Think I ate too much.”
We laughed at that because we all had.
“Lily? Bas?” Sierra asked.
“Lily and I are going for a walk,” Sebastian said before I could respond.
“Okay. Just us, then.” Sierra threaded her arm through Harry’s and they waved goodbye as they headed down York Place toward Queen Street. There were a bunch of bars in New Town where they could grab a drink.
“Who wants to place a bet that they’ll sleep together tonight?” Zac snorted.
“I’ll take that bet. Twenty that they do.” Maddie grinned slyly.
Shaun chuckled. “You know something, don’t you?”
She shrugged. “Sierra might fancy Harry. She might have suggested to me that she’d like to get him out of her system.”
Zac whistled. “Lucky Harry. Well, it’s not a fair bet, then, if we know it’s a sure thing.”
Maddie zeroed in on me suddenly. “Are you all right, Lily?”
“I’m fine.” My tone was flat even to my ears.
My friend narrowed her eyes. “Are you sure?” She scrutinized Sebastian with a frown. “You can walk back with Shaun and me.”
Not wanting her to think my problem was with Sebastian, I waved her off. “I’m good.” Even though I knew I was about to be interrogated by my best friend.
A few minutes later we were all going our separate ways.
“Where are we walking?” I queried as I fell into step beside Sebastian.
“We’re just walking. And talking. Who the hell was that, Lily? The bloke at the bar. Did he do something to you?”
The fierceness of his expression bordered on murderous.
“His name is Christian. Chris.” Just saying his name made me shudder. I wrapped my arms around my waist.
Sebastian waited quietly if not impatiently for me to continue.
“I haven’t told anyone about him. Only Jan knows, but after the fact. And my cousin Luke.”
“What happened?”
“I didn’t always used to be this self-conscious, you know.” Bitterness filled my tone, and I hated it. I hated that Chris had that power over me. “I grew up with a family that told me I was beautiful all the time. I didn’t have much of an ego about it, but I was also pretty laid-back about my appearance. Like it wasn’t something I had to be overly concerned about.”
“You don’t,” he assured me.
I huffed inwardly.
“I met Christian when I was sixteen. At the library of all places. He was four years older. A college student.”
“What was a twenty-year-old doing with a sixteen-year-old?” Sebastian sneered. “The thought turns my stomach. Four years isn’t a lot. But at that age it is.”
“I didn’t think anything of it then. I was young and naive and excited that this older guy liked me. That’s why I didn’t tell my parents or Jan. Or anyone. My dad would have killed him.”
“Jan would have killed him.”
I laughed humorlessly. “You’re right.”
“Anyway, it didn’t take long for me to realize he had a lot of problems. Trauma. His father abandoned him and his mum, and one of his mum’s many boyfriends … he abused Chris. Sexually.”
“Wow.”
I nodded, still feeling deeply sad about it even after everything Chris had done to me.
“That’s a lot to put on a sixteen-year-old.”
“I tried to help him. To be there for him. But he pulled me down with him into his black hole. He would love-bomb me. Intensely. Gifts, texts, he even wrote me a couple of long letters. When he felt me pulling away, he wrote me letters telling me he’d kill himself if I ever left him.”