Total pages in book: 121
Estimated words: 116759 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 584(@200wpm)___ 467(@250wpm)___ 389(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 116759 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 584(@200wpm)___ 467(@250wpm)___ 389(@300wpm)
“What a manipulative prick.”
That was the understatement of the year.
“Before we got to there, he started belittling me, making me feel less than. Sometimes it was about my intelligence, my personality … other times …” I exhaled heavily, my cheeks heating. “When we were in bed, he’d tell me that I was lucky he wanted me because most guys would want me to lose a bit of weight before they’d sleep with me.”
Sebastian halted abruptly.
I turned, almost afraid to look at him.
Sure enough, his features were taut with anger.
I shrugged helplessly, tears in my eyes. “That’s not the worst of it.”
“Tell me,” he bit out.
I gestured for him to walk with me again because it was easier to tell him without looking him in the eye. “He’d say stuff about my weight a lot in bed. I won’t go into it, but I will say I refuse to be on top now.” If I was a blusher, my cheeks would be beetroot.
Sebastian’s next words were said in a low growl. “I’m going to rip this bastard apart if I ever see him again.”
“I hope we never see him again.” A chill shivered through me at the thought. “He’s the reason I got weird about food and needed to talk to someone about it. But he didn’t just poke at me about my appearance. It was everything. He wanted me to believe that he was the only one who could put up with me. Knowing what I know now, I realize his self-esteem was nonexistent, so he was trying to obliterate my self-esteem so I wouldn’t leave him. Then I found out he was cheating. I tried to break up with him, but he told me he was scared of his feelings for me. That he’d never do it again. And he wrote those letters threatening to kill himself if I did leave. So, I took him back.”
I hated remembering how scared I was then. Even as I returned to him. He changed me into an anxious ball of insecurity. My parents knew something was wrong, but they thought I was suffering an eating disorder. Plus, I kept telling them I was stressed with school. “It all started up again. The ups and downs were too much. I couldn’t take it anymore. I couldn’t take the Jekyll & Hyde act or how miserable and anxious I was all the time. The final straw was him accusing me of cheating on him after my prom. We couldn’t go together obviously, but I’d worn that red dress … do you remember from the photo?”
“I do. You were beautiful.”
“Well, he thought I’d dressed up for someone else. I spent ages curled up on his sofa while he screamed himself hoarse, calling me a whore, a slut. I was terrified to move in case he suddenly got physical.” My voice shook with the memories, and I heard Sebastian inhale sharply. “His neighbor, this big bloke, came banging on the door. I told him I wanted to leave, and he warned Chris he’d call the police if he didn’t let me. His neighbor put me in a cab. I thought that was it. But … he started to harass me. Stalk me. I was afraid to tell my parents. Afraid of what my dad might do—”
“Kill the motherfucker, that’s what.”
“Aye, well, I didn’t want to be the cause of my dad getting in trouble. I didn’t want my parents to know how stupid I’d been dating Chris in the first place. I went to my cousin Luke instead. Luke and I are the same age, and when we were younger, we were closer. Even at seventeen, he was a big guy, on the rugby and football teams. He rounded up a few of his teammates and they confronted Chris. I don’t know exactly what happened, but Chris backed off. I never heard from him again. I think he realized I had too many people around me who would hurt him if he didn’t leave me alone. Maybe he concluded I was the wrong target.”
“Target …” Sebastian bit out a curse. “He’s the reason you don’t realize how beautiful you are.” My friend tugged me to a stop. “He got in your head and you can’t get him out.”
“It’s not just him. Every guy I’ve ever dated has cheated on me. You start to think maybe you’re not enough. Not pretty enough. Smart enough …”
“Lily—”
I waved him off, feeling unbearably vulnerable. Trying to lighten the tone, I told him, “I know rationally that’s not true. Anyway, the last bloke who cheated on me got a nice surprise. January planted a dead fish in the back of his closet.”
“Remind me never to get on your sister’s bad side.” Sebastian suddenly pulled me into his embrace. He kissed the top of my head and gritted out, “I want to go back to that club and kill him and every arsehole who’s ever hurt you.”