Total pages in book: 121
Estimated words: 116759 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 584(@200wpm)___ 467(@250wpm)___ 389(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 116759 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 584(@200wpm)___ 467(@250wpm)___ 389(@300wpm)
I didn’t feel lighter.
If anything, I felt as if the weight of the entire world was riding alongside me.
CHAPTER FORTY
SEBASTIAN
Royal Mile was bleak beneath the darkened sky, the cobbled road slickened and shiny under the streetlamps that were inspired to blaze to life earlier than usual.
I sat on the window seat in the living area, staring down at the familiar view. February weather in Scotland was dreary as hell. To match my mood. People hurried by with umbrellas or wearing oversized hoods, and I wondered where they were going.
It was better than wondering about Lily.
Or focusing on the necklace wrapped around my fingers.
She’d returned my Christmas gift.
As if what she said last night wasn’t enough. She wanted to make it very clear we were never to see each other again.
My attention wandered back to the necklace. It shone against my olive skin and the dark bruises of my knuckles. I’d iced them last night, so they weren’t as swollen.
“Bugger.” I squeezed my eyes closed.
I didn’t recognize the person I’d turned into in the club.
One minute I’d been watching Lily have fun with her friends, happy to see her happy, and then the next I saw some bloke approach her. A light strobe flashed over his face, and I recognized him as her ex from that night in the bar. When he grabbed her … seeing her struggle in his arms, knowing the damage he’d already caused her, I lost my mind.
Yet … I think Lily was right.
I think I lost it so badly because this anger at myself had been building for weeks.
I’d wanted to take it out on someone, and Chris had been the perfect target. I could punish him for what he’d done to Lily. For what I’d done to Lily.
The front door opened and slammed shut, footsteps approaching.
“Good news.” Harry strode into the living room. “I did a little investigating, and the police weren’t called. Chris and his mates left the club without reporting it. The club didn’t want any bad press, so they didn’t report it either.”
“That’s good,” I replied flatly. Though truthfully, it was good news. I might not be an oft-talked-about member of the royal family, but the tabloids would definitely print a story about Princess Mary’s grandson almost beating a man to death in a Scottish nightclub.
“Did … did he really stalk Lily? That’s what Zac said Jan said.” Harry sat down on the sofa, his expression uncharacteristically concerned.
I nodded. “He was her ex. He treated her … badly.”
Anger flashed in Harry’s eyes. “Glad you beat the shit out of him, then.”
I huffed bitterly, raising my hand with the necklace. “I lost her for good because of it.”
“What’s that?”
“The necklace I gave her for Christmas. She dropped it off with the doorman.”
Harry winced. “Sorry, man … So, does that mean you guys really were a thing?”
A thing? We were so much more than a bloody thing.
My mobile rang, saving me from having to answer. I reached for it. “It’s Juno.”
My friend nodded and stood. “I’ll give you some privacy.”
“Thanks, Harry.”
“For what?”
“For always having my back.”
He smirked. “Remember that after you answer your phone.”
I frowned, watching him disappear into his bedroom as I picked up. “Junebug.”
“Harry said you beat up some bloke that used to stalk Lily. What the hell?”
Bloody Harry. I sighed. Heavily. And rested my head against the wall, closing my eyes.
“Sebastian?”
With a grumble of weary impatience, I launched into the story without giving away too many details about Lily’s ex. That was hers to tell, not mine.
Juno’s tone was careful. “And she ended your friendship?”
A sharp, agonizing ache flared in my chest. “Yes.”
“I feel like I’m missing something.”
Bugger it. There was no point hiding anything now that everything was a giant mess. “Lily thinks I’m punishing myself for what happened to Lawrence.” Juno was one of the few people who knew about the incident.
“I don’t understand.”
“She thinks I gave up pursuing a football career and a career as an artist because I’m punishing myself for what happened to Lawrence. She thinks I think I don’t deserve real happiness and that’s why I refuse to choose the things that will make me happy, including … well, her.”
Juno was silent so long I asked, “Are you still there?”
“Yes. I’m … wow. Bloody hell, that woman is smart. She’ll make a brilliant therapist. I didn’t even put two and two together, but it does make sense. Any big choices you have to make, life-changing decisions, you never choose the path that will make you truly happy. When you gave up football after Lawrence died, you wanted to study in the US. You had grand plans to study art at Yale. But when the acceptance letter came in, you chose Edinburgh instead. And instead of pursuing art, you chose a civil engineering degree just because you’re good at physics and maths. I never pushed you about it because I thought maybe you really had changed your mind.”