Total pages in book: 121
Estimated words: 116759 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 584(@200wpm)___ 467(@250wpm)___ 389(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 116759 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 584(@200wpm)___ 467(@250wpm)___ 389(@300wpm)
Lily’s eyes locked with mine, her nostrils flaring with surprise.
It took everything in me not to haul her into my arms.
“Hullo, Sawyer,” I greeted loudly enough to be heard.
LILY
Several realizations hit me at once.
One, either my friends didn’t know Sebastian was going to be here and they’d been lied to, or they did know, and I’d been lied to.
Two, Sebastian did not look like himself. He had a short scruffy beard, and his clothes hung a wee bit loose on him, like he’d lost weight. There were dark circles under his eyes, and he appeared exhausted.
Three, his appearance suggested distress.
Four, his distress might be related to me.
I didn’t know what to do with any of that. The part of me that loved him wanted to fix everything for him. However, he didn’t want to be fixed. He wanted to wallow in his masochistic need to punish himself in penance for something he wasn’t to blame for in the first place.
My knees trembled as I shifted on my feet and I found I couldn’t quite speak. So, I settled on a nod of hello before turning to accept Harry’s and Zac’s affectionate hugs. Thankfully, the bartender finally got around to serving our drinks. I could feel Sebastian’s attention as I threw mine back.
“You two are talking again, then?” Harry asked loudly, gesturing between me and Jan. At my frown, he grinned cheekily. “Oh, we all heard the episode today.”
Even Sebastian?
Damn it.
Hyperaware of him towering by my side, I desperately tried to ignore the flood of images from our night together suddenly filling my head. I grabbed my sister’s wrist, in need of an escape. “I want to dance!”
Jan nodded enthusiastically and together we pushed through the throng to find ourselves in the middle of the dance floor.
I didn’t really want to dance, but I let the techno music that usually made my head thump take hold of my body and I started bouncing around like everyone else, attempting not to spill my drink. Finally, I settled on throwing the alcohol down my throat in one big gulp.
January cheered, did the same, then took my plastic cup from me to throw it in the air with hers. People around us yelled, their arms reaching above their heads. Suddenly, the music changed from techno to a Calvin Harris tune I liked. I grinned at my sister as the crowd whooped at the song change. The beat thrummed through us all in time as we jumped up and down in rhythm with one another.
The weight that had been crushing down on my shoulders lifted for those few minutes and I found myself laughing in relief. Suddenly, Maddie and Sierra were with us. Sierra took my hand, finding her way into the rhythm easily. My friends danced and sang along, Maddie shouting the lyrics, “I feel so close to you!” in my face, wearing a cheesy grin, and I took a mental snapshot, storing the memory away. A beautiful reminder that I didn’t need a bloke to make me feel loved or connected to people.
It was a perfect moment.
Until it wasn’t.
He appeared out of nowhere.
The sight of his familiar face inspired a jolt of dread.
Chris. My ex.
Years I hadn’t seen the arsehole and now twice in as many weeks. Edinburgh was a small city, and it had never felt more so than now. He bounced right up to us, pushing between me and Sierra so she had no choice but to let go of my hand. Chris’s head bowed to mine, and I jerked back as he yelled, “We keep bumpin’ into each other! Must be fate!”
I sneered in disgust, bolstered by the fact that he couldn’t hurt me anymore and I had my friends and sister with me. “Or not! Piss off, Chris!”
He grinned lazily and I realized by the glaze in his eyes, he was drunk. “Not very friendly!”
“Chris, you’re drunk! Go sober up somewhere else!”
“I forgot how gorgeous you are, Lily Pad!”
Nausea rolled through me at his ridiculous pet name. When I was seventeen, I’d thought it was cute. Now it sickened me. Everything about him sickened me.
“Piss. Off.” I pushed him away.
He bounced back and snaked his arm around my waist, yanking me against him. I struggled, but he was too strong. A flashback hit. A memory of him holding me hostage in his flat, his grip on my wrists bruising as he threatened to kill himself if I left him.
All the old feelings of terror and entrapment flooded me. Panicked, I struggled like a wild thing.
“Calm the fuck doon!” he yelled in my ear. “I just wanna dance!”
“Get off my sister!” I heard January.
And then I was free, stumbling back into a hard body. Gentle hands gripped me, and I looked up, dazed, to find Zac. “You okay, Lil?”
I nodded, confused, then glanced back at my ex.