Total pages in book: 87
Estimated words: 83394 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 417(@200wpm)___ 334(@250wpm)___ 278(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 83394 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 417(@200wpm)___ 334(@250wpm)___ 278(@300wpm)
I pulled a paper with my phone number out of my pocket. “The offer still stands if you change your mind. If not…I hope you’re happy. I plan to be.” I stood, and Joey did too. “I love you, Dad.”
He took a drink.
We walked out.
“Jesus, I’m so damn proud of you. I love you so much.” Joey held my face, kissed me, made me feel alive. With that one act, so much pain fell off my shoulders.
“I love you too.” I looked at him, held his gaze. It still amazed me sometimes, that we were here, that we’d made it. That no matter what we’d been through, we had each other, and Mouse and Romeo, along with Olivia and the baby Mouse carried. Life was full of terrible things, full of tragedy, but it was full of so much beauty too. If you focused on the terrible, if you lived in the shadows of fear, you robbed yourself of the beautiful.
I wanted the beauty.
I had it, I just had to reach out and grab it. “I love me.”
Joey gave me my favorite smile in the world. “You deserve it.”
We went to the car and drove away, out of town, putting our past to rest for good.
We had a whole future ahead of us.
EPILOGUE
Joey
Five years later
We lived in a small three-bedroom house with a large garden in the backyard. The mortgage was crazy-expensive, but this was Southern California, so of course it was. I’d finally sold the house back in Hendersonville. The land was what made the most money, and we put that down on the new place. It was still hard to make ends meet sometimes. Gage and I would never be wealthy, but we were happy, and we made the rest work. That was all that mattered to us—being happy and being together.
Gage now worked in landscaping. At some point, he wanted to have his own business, but we weren’t there yet. He took classes, worked hard, asked for help when he needed it, but a lot of the time, he didn’t need to. He’d always been smarter than he gave himself credit for. It took getting healthier for him to see that. He’d seen a tutor for reading, and that had helped too. Gage didn’t see himself as stupid anymore. He had a learning disorder, and he worked on getting by around it.
I still worked at the garage with Angel. I loved it there, liked what I did. There was a feeling of accomplishment every time I fixed a car. I was giving people something they needed—a way to travel to work to pay their bills, to get to the store to buy food for their family, a way to take a trip while their kids laughed in the back seat. Like Gage, I hoped to one day have my own shop, but that day wasn’t today, and I was okay with that. I had everything I needed anyway. Gage and I had an old Camaro we’d been rebuilding together. Working on the car with him was one of my favorite things.
It was a bright Saturday morning, and we were sitting at our booth at the local farmer’s market. Gage was talking to a woman about his bell peppers, which he was extremely proud of. I watched him, never got tired of watching him. As if feeling my gaze, he turned his head slightly, smiled at me over his shoulder, and my heart went crazy the way it always did with him.
We’d made it. We’d been through hell and back, but we’d survived, we’d fucking conquered, and we did it together. Always together.
That day we’d gone back to Hendersonville had been a huge step forward in our healing. It hadn’t been perfect right after that day, but life was never perfect. It had been exactly what we’d needed, though. At the time, we’d kept seeing Rose and Micah and started couples therapy as well. There was a lot we’d been through together that we’d needed to work out. I figured that was what love was. It wasn’t always easy; it was putting in the work because you cared, because you wanted it to last. There was nothing we wouldn’t do for each other, to be happy and to be together, and yeah, we’d done it.
We weren’t in therapy anymore, but we were both willing to go back if the need arose again. There was no shame in getting help, only strength in it.
Gage’s dad had died of liver failure, two years ago. We’d gone to see him when he was passing. Gage had gone back and forth on it, but ultimately decided he didn’t want to risk the regret. It proved cathartic for him. Another goodbye, yes, but one he faced head-on with me by his side.
Gage finished talking to the woman, selling her his peppers, then turned back to me. The sun glinted off the simple band on his ring finger. There was a matching one on mine. We’d had a small ceremony—Mouse, Romeo, and the girls; Darrel and his boyfriend, Steve; Angel and Maria. Our friends group had grown, expanded, but for that day, we’d wanted intimate.