Total pages in book: 94
Estimated words: 88293 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 441(@200wpm)___ 353(@250wpm)___ 294(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 88293 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 441(@200wpm)___ 353(@250wpm)___ 294(@300wpm)
“How you feeling, buddy?” I asked as I turned so I could watch my son devour his meal.
“Look, Daddy,” he said as he proudly held up the small plastic airplane. “Can we go see this movie?”
“Maybe,” I hedged as my stomach churned. I knew I needed to explain to Matty why he’d be spending much of the next six months in the hospital, but I had no idea how to do it. I could feel the tears threatening all over again so I turned around and stared at the cars flying along the Interstate. By now, I should have been used to the feeling of not knowing what was going to happen…it had become a way of life for us. But all I wanted was for my kid was to have a normal life. Play dates, birthday parties, a house with a yard, a dog…and I couldn’t give him any of that.
Hawke pushed out through the restaurant door, a bag in one hand and a cup in another. He practically ripped open the driver’s side door. He shoved the bag at me and put the cup in the cup holder before jamming the key into the ignition and starting the car. I held the bag on my lap, trying to ignore my cramping stomach as the smell of the food hit me. Once the car was moving, I tried to hand the bag to Hawke but he pushed it back at me and muttered, “Eat.”
I looked at him in surprise. “But-”
“Just shut up and eat, Tate,” Hawke snapped.
“Oooh, he said a bad word,” Matty called from the back seat.
“Eat your lunch, okay, Matty?” I managed to say, though I couldn’t take my eyes off the man next to me who had yet to look at me. When he finally did, I felt my throat close up at the flash of softness I saw as he quietly repeated his order for me to eat. The hardness returned almost instantly, but I didn’t focus on that. Instead, I opened the bag and did exactly as he said.
I ate.
* * *
Hawke’s emotional distance continued to grow throughout the drive north. We had to stop several more times for Matty to go to the bathroom and while Hawke never complained, I couldn’t get a read on him. He didn’t interact with me or Matty, but at a gas station, he bought Matty some ice cream and when Matty saw a children’s play area in a park across the street from the next gas station we stopped at, Hawke pulled the car up to it after we’d gassed up and Matty and I had played for almost a half an hour before getting back in the car to continue on our journey.
We’d stopped for dinner an hour earlier at a truck stop that had a restaurant attached to it, but when I’d only ordered a small soda, Hawke had ended up ordering me a burger, fries and even a piece of pie. I’d tried to offer him money to pay for both Matty’s and my meals, but he’d shot me such a dark look that the protest had died in my throat.
Matty had spent most of the meal coloring the children’s paper placemat in front of him and I knew even he’d sensed Hawke’s withdrawal. We’d gotten back on the road after that and Matty had fallen asleep a few minutes later.
Darkness had started to fall when I glanced at the clock in the dashboard and saw that it was eight o’ clock.
“Hawke,” I said softly.
Because it was dark in the car, I couldn’t be sure that the man next to me actually flinched when I said his name, but he did turn to glance at me. “What?”
I ignored the irritation in his voice. “Are we stopping for the night soon?”
“We’re driving through,” came his terse reply.
“Don’t we have like six hours to go?” I asked.
“Five.”
“Matty’s tired. He needs a bath and he needs to sleep in a bed. Can we just stop at a hotel? I…I’ll pay for it,” I offered even though I knew a hotel room would eat up much of the little cash I had left.
Hawke didn’t respond in any way. Anger surged through me, but I quelled it and said, “Please.”
The only reaction I got was Hawke drumming a couple of his fingers on the steering wheel. The red glow from the lights on the dashboard let me see a little of his face and I could tell he wasn’t happy. But I didn’t give a shit. My son came first. Before I could repeat my request, Hawke turned on the blinker and steered the car off the Interstate at the next exit. There was only one small motel just off the freeway and I could only hope it was reasonably clean because the outside appearance was not encouraging. Hawke was already out of the car a second after he slammed it into park and he was back a moment later with the room key…a single room key.